vet appointment update

Lexx had a vet appointment on tuesday, i haven't had the chance to update everyone about it yet.

He's currently gone 8 whole weeks without a seizure. Not even a hint of seizure behaviour, nothing. I'm so happy, relieved and proud of my boy for hanging in there through all this scary stuff. Ever since he's started on his meds ( low level potassium bromide only) he has been acting a little bit different, in a mostly positive way. When he first started I noticed signs of ataxia, but it seems to have subsided. Other than that, he just loves to eat now.

I spent the first 14 months of lexx's life being stressed out at every meal because he had a strong hatred for eating. I can't explain it any other way than a hatred. Dogs are supposed to LOVE food I kept thinking to myself, SOMETHING has to be wrong. Every time he turned his nose up at a meal, i hated myself more for doing something wrong. every time someone commented on how small he was, i was sure it was all my fault. I was feeding him Raw, it was supposed to be the best option... I spent months researching and hundreds of dollars on food, cleaning supplies, supplements... all to no avail, he would sometimes go days without eating a thing.

Now, he's eating kibble. boring, dry kibble. Notably, its Wellness CORE high quality high protein kibble, but I still can't see the draw next to a big juicy steak. Now, he will PLOW over me for every meal. he licks the bowl clean and asks for more. can't explain it, but I'm not arguing. He is eating almost twice the recommended amount to give and has yet to gain a pound.. ok ONE pound, but thats it.

All of his vaccinations are now up to date and we discussed his neuter which I'm hoping to get done before then end of the year. i was holding out to see if he'd gain weight, or get taller..... but since neither seems to be happening, i guess i'll just have to be satisfied with my little guy just the way he is.

People often comment on his small stature and i always smile and say, "well he's within the proper standard" and act like i don't care one bit. But the truth is, i DO care. I AM disappointed. I'm sorry, maybe I'm a jerk for saying this, but quite honestly, I haven't really gotten ANYTHING that i wanted from this dog other than the best friend i've ever had. ( which don't get me wrong, is worth a lot to me and I'd never trade him for anything).

I had a list of expectations for a doberman. Good sized ( nope), defensive ( nope), easy to train (nope), showable even if it was just for fun ( nope), cuddly ( not really so much)... I see people with their velcro dogs and their rally dogs and i always think to myself... what did i do wrong...

but all that aside, he seems to be HEALTHY again, which is the biggest and most important thing. People can tell me that i'm an awful person for being bitter than he's not bigger, but its the way i feel and I can't change it.