I have to admit that owning a dog hasn't been what I expected.. I still live in a house blocked off by baby gates... Lexx is never allowed in most of the house. As I sit here, he's pacing around his area, investigating things and several of the rooms are out of my range of sight. I have to admit, everytime I can't see him, I get antsy and nervous... what is he in to? Is he going to have an accident oh my god oh my god.. and I always end up calling him back. He of course listens and trots back right away... but This isn't what I expected.
I wanted a dog that could live freely in the house.. that I didn't listen for 24/7...
Am I ever going to get over this? After everything, will I ever be able to trust him? I just feel like I'm destined to live with gates keeping him restrained for the rest of his life, and I'm just not happy about it.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Real life training update
Well!
Since Lexx is no longer in obedience classes ( last one was on Tuesday) he is no longer learning "ring" obedience. This however, in no way means that his learning is finished.
Last night, after visiting his favourite place ever ( the vet) to get his blood work done ( down another 200 dollars...sigh...) Kyle decided that he should get his hair cut for his meeting today.
I assumed that dobermans might not be welcomed in the hair dresser, so I took the opportunity to walk Lexx in the city. It has to be understood that we live in the country. There are lots of dogs and houses and things, but nothing like "downtown". NO buses, no street lights, no malls. Not a lot of traffic.
Lexx's walking has been so incredibly fantastic as of late, I haven't even picked up a choke or prong collar in the last...4 months, but I had zero expectations for his behaviour with such a high threshold of distraction.
Off we went down the main street, cars whizzing by, buses squealing, people on the road and trot trot trot my little lexxball went with his allowed 3 feet of leash loopy and flopping back and forth. We did investigate some deliciously tempting smells, causing the leash to become tight, but no dragging, no wandering in front of mommy's path.
Some interesting possible friends waiting at the bus stop seemed interesting, but one quick AHAH from me and we were on our way. No straining to sniff, no veering towards everyone. We sat and waited for the light to change and walked along the front of a mall. He was so good! Trotting along, looking back and forth and a bit more pully than I would like, but definitely very good overall.
We started to ignore people all together ( though they certainly didn't ignore us...) until.. we saw him. The little 5ish year old boy in a bright orange jacket. He was with his mom and he was DEFINITELY a friend. MUST...SEE...CHILD....
I tightened my leash a wee bit and reminded Lexxball that we were here to WALK to to meet friends.. continue on our way please. Then those golden words "MOMMMYYY cannn I pettt thatttt pupppyyyyy" and Lexx's ears went up. MOM? MOM? friend???
I said, would he like to pet the puppy? He's very friendly! The mother agreed and told her son to move slowly and place his open hand out gently so that Lexx could sniff. What a responsible parent. I saw a glimmer of fear for her small child's life when he reached his hand towards the big bad doberman... but lexx stayed still ( as still as wiggle dog gets) and allowed him to pet his head. Then, lexx reached out and licked his hand. Kisses for the friend in the orange jacket.
We headed on our way and they on theirs, but Lexx had a bigger bounce in his step. He so loves children.
We waited at lights with people next to us, no sniffing, no pulling, no whining. He was so good. We headed back to pick up dad and had to wait outside of the barber for awhile. Lexx hates waiting, its his nemesis.. he's go go go all the time. Waiting means whining and complaining.
In conclusion, he was so good... but we need to work on waiting!
What a good boy!
Since Lexx is no longer in obedience classes ( last one was on Tuesday) he is no longer learning "ring" obedience. This however, in no way means that his learning is finished.
Last night, after visiting his favourite place ever ( the vet) to get his blood work done ( down another 200 dollars...sigh...) Kyle decided that he should get his hair cut for his meeting today.
I assumed that dobermans might not be welcomed in the hair dresser, so I took the opportunity to walk Lexx in the city. It has to be understood that we live in the country. There are lots of dogs and houses and things, but nothing like "downtown". NO buses, no street lights, no malls. Not a lot of traffic.
Lexx's walking has been so incredibly fantastic as of late, I haven't even picked up a choke or prong collar in the last...4 months, but I had zero expectations for his behaviour with such a high threshold of distraction.
Off we went down the main street, cars whizzing by, buses squealing, people on the road and trot trot trot my little lexxball went with his allowed 3 feet of leash loopy and flopping back and forth. We did investigate some deliciously tempting smells, causing the leash to become tight, but no dragging, no wandering in front of mommy's path.
Some interesting possible friends waiting at the bus stop seemed interesting, but one quick AHAH from me and we were on our way. No straining to sniff, no veering towards everyone. We sat and waited for the light to change and walked along the front of a mall. He was so good! Trotting along, looking back and forth and a bit more pully than I would like, but definitely very good overall.
We started to ignore people all together ( though they certainly didn't ignore us...) until.. we saw him. The little 5ish year old boy in a bright orange jacket. He was with his mom and he was DEFINITELY a friend. MUST...SEE...CHILD....
I tightened my leash a wee bit and reminded Lexxball that we were here to WALK to to meet friends.. continue on our way please. Then those golden words "MOMMMYYY cannn I pettt thatttt pupppyyyyy" and Lexx's ears went up. MOM? MOM? friend???
I said, would he like to pet the puppy? He's very friendly! The mother agreed and told her son to move slowly and place his open hand out gently so that Lexx could sniff. What a responsible parent. I saw a glimmer of fear for her small child's life when he reached his hand towards the big bad doberman... but lexx stayed still ( as still as wiggle dog gets) and allowed him to pet his head. Then, lexx reached out and licked his hand. Kisses for the friend in the orange jacket.
We headed on our way and they on theirs, but Lexx had a bigger bounce in his step. He so loves children.
We waited at lights with people next to us, no sniffing, no pulling, no whining. He was so good. We headed back to pick up dad and had to wait outside of the barber for awhile. Lexx hates waiting, its his nemesis.. he's go go go all the time. Waiting means whining and complaining.
In conclusion, he was so good... but we need to work on waiting!
What a good boy!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
enigma?
Lexxington's name should have been enigma... I swear, this dog does everything weird possible.
First off... he doesn't destroy toys. Kyle and I were discussing this yesterday. He still has the same stuffies that he had when he was a baby...
Second, he hates being dirty. He refuses to walk through puddles, hates mud...and always shakes like crazy when something falls on him ( rain, dust, leaves...whatever)
He refuses to be anywhere near his puke. Some dogs EAT their puke.. I was thinking about Red's issues with eating the stuffie arm and re-eating it everytime he thew it up. IF lexx throws up in his crate, he HOWLS and complains about it. MOMMM EWWWW GETTT ITT OUUTTT EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! until I clean it up. This morning, he threw up OUT of his crate. Not a drop inside his crate, he must have consciously decided that he didn't want his crate to be dirty and therefore did something about it.
He sometimes decides that Sleeping is better than playing/walking/standing. Yesterday he grumbled about being woken up from his sleep in the sunbeam and having to walk. He actually REFUSED to walk. Holding up paws like they were cold. Stoping. Ridiculous. As of late, even off leash, he's glued to my side. No running around like a crazy.. just a nice consistent trot at my side
We have a great deal of dogs in my neighbourhood who think that barking at other dogs is required. Its irritating. Lexx however, NEVER barks at other dogs. EVER. They can be full out growling barking in his face and he just stands there and looks at them with this look of total disdain.. " YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOOK COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS RIGHT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
He's on drugs that are supposed to make them tired for the first few days, then re gain their energy. He was uncontrollably hyper for the first two weeks.. now he sleeps ALL day.
He's on drugs that are supposed to make them gain weight... he's losing it.
He went on drugs that weren't supposed to work right away and got instant sucess, but they wore off four months later.
He was supposed to have a perfectly fine routine neuter.. and ended up bleeding for two days, having to go back into the vet for 24 hours and having bruising and swelling for almost 10 days after.
SO, in light of this... I feel that from now on I will determine what an APPROPRIATE reaction to something will be.. and expect the opposite.
First off... he doesn't destroy toys. Kyle and I were discussing this yesterday. He still has the same stuffies that he had when he was a baby...
Second, he hates being dirty. He refuses to walk through puddles, hates mud...and always shakes like crazy when something falls on him ( rain, dust, leaves...whatever)
He refuses to be anywhere near his puke. Some dogs EAT their puke.. I was thinking about Red's issues with eating the stuffie arm and re-eating it everytime he thew it up. IF lexx throws up in his crate, he HOWLS and complains about it. MOMMM EWWWW GETTT ITT OUUTTT EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! until I clean it up. This morning, he threw up OUT of his crate. Not a drop inside his crate, he must have consciously decided that he didn't want his crate to be dirty and therefore did something about it.
He sometimes decides that Sleeping is better than playing/walking/standing. Yesterday he grumbled about being woken up from his sleep in the sunbeam and having to walk. He actually REFUSED to walk. Holding up paws like they were cold. Stoping. Ridiculous. As of late, even off leash, he's glued to my side. No running around like a crazy.. just a nice consistent trot at my side
We have a great deal of dogs in my neighbourhood who think that barking at other dogs is required. Its irritating. Lexx however, NEVER barks at other dogs. EVER. They can be full out growling barking in his face and he just stands there and looks at them with this look of total disdain.. " YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOOK COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS RIGHT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
He's on drugs that are supposed to make them tired for the first few days, then re gain their energy. He was uncontrollably hyper for the first two weeks.. now he sleeps ALL day.
He's on drugs that are supposed to make them gain weight... he's losing it.
He went on drugs that weren't supposed to work right away and got instant sucess, but they wore off four months later.
He was supposed to have a perfectly fine routine neuter.. and ended up bleeding for two days, having to go back into the vet for 24 hours and having bruising and swelling for almost 10 days after.
SO, in light of this... I feel that from now on I will determine what an APPROPRIATE reaction to something will be.. and expect the opposite.
Monday, February 23, 2009
we made it past 4 weeks!
Friday was the 4 week mark. Lexx's "4 week seizure weekend time line. Since the KBr has started to lessen its effect, Lexx has been seizing every 4 weeks.
Four weeks ago, we started the Phenobarb. I hated that stupid medicine...It makes him starving, makes him thirsty, makes his legs shake and his nubbin stop wiggling... but..but it might be working?
Over the last two weeks I've seen a change in Lexx. The shine in his eyes is coming back, the bounce in his step is returning. He even did zoomies around the backyard in the snow yesterday. Hopefully this means that the drug side effects are wearing off.
Some days are still hell... when he comes to me wherever I happen to be, and looks up with glazed eyes, nubbin tucked in instead of straight up like normal, hind end ducked down and shaking. He looks up saying Mom... iI feel different. I'm hungry. Mom?... and it breaks my heart every single time.
Every time I think: What am I doing? Who am I to give him these horrible drugs that make him miserable? What kind of mother am I...?
The good days make it worth it. The days where he runs and bounces like a 21 month old doberman should. The days where the ball is more exciting than eating snow because he's thirsty or eating grass because he's starving...
We've made it over 4 weeks, together, through the hell... hopefully things will continue to improve and my amazing little boy will be happier and healthier as spring comes around.
Four weeks ago, we started the Phenobarb. I hated that stupid medicine...It makes him starving, makes him thirsty, makes his legs shake and his nubbin stop wiggling... but..but it might be working?
Over the last two weeks I've seen a change in Lexx. The shine in his eyes is coming back, the bounce in his step is returning. He even did zoomies around the backyard in the snow yesterday. Hopefully this means that the drug side effects are wearing off.
Some days are still hell... when he comes to me wherever I happen to be, and looks up with glazed eyes, nubbin tucked in instead of straight up like normal, hind end ducked down and shaking. He looks up saying Mom... iI feel different. I'm hungry. Mom?... and it breaks my heart every single time.
Every time I think: What am I doing? Who am I to give him these horrible drugs that make him miserable? What kind of mother am I...?
The good days make it worth it. The days where he runs and bounces like a 21 month old doberman should. The days where the ball is more exciting than eating snow because he's thirsty or eating grass because he's starving...
We've made it over 4 weeks, together, through the hell... hopefully things will continue to improve and my amazing little boy will be happier and healthier as spring comes around.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Training update
Since we still have ONE more obedience class, Lexx and I did some practicing today. I spent the day at home after a rather..disheartening vet appointment for my horse this morning and I figured it was a great chance to do a little training.
We worked on both left and right finishes. I have to admit, Lexx really seems to be getting these exercises quite well. His sits are still crooked on the left finishes sometimes, but I'm finding that I can now recognize when this is going to happen and I've been attempting to alter my signal to help with the situation.
We did some short heeling stints, and he had awesome energy and focus today. I hate training inside, not enough space to do very much. Worked on some right and left turns, he's still a bit sketchy on where his bum is going, but I don't think he realizes that he even HAS a bum, so I'm not surprised.
I also did some work on "back up" which he's horrible about. He gets really concerned and confused and it didn't help that today he backed up crooked, hit his crate and knocked it over. His face said nothing short of " SEE MOM...BACKING UP IS EVILLLL" but we managed a few good steps.
I'm finding training to be frustrating because Lexx is SO eager to get the treats now with his new drugs that he practically chews my fingers right off. I just can't get him that treat fast enough. ever. Its better than him hating food all together, which was the previous case, because at least I have the bonus of the attention now... but my fingers don't agree.
all and all a good little 15 minute session. We worked each exercise several times until I saw consistency, improvement or he did several in a row almost perfect, depending on the exercise.
looking forward to spring. NO formal classes this year, but at least then we can fool around and practice OUTSIDE. phew.
We worked on both left and right finishes. I have to admit, Lexx really seems to be getting these exercises quite well. His sits are still crooked on the left finishes sometimes, but I'm finding that I can now recognize when this is going to happen and I've been attempting to alter my signal to help with the situation.
We did some short heeling stints, and he had awesome energy and focus today. I hate training inside, not enough space to do very much. Worked on some right and left turns, he's still a bit sketchy on where his bum is going, but I don't think he realizes that he even HAS a bum, so I'm not surprised.
I also did some work on "back up" which he's horrible about. He gets really concerned and confused and it didn't help that today he backed up crooked, hit his crate and knocked it over. His face said nothing short of " SEE MOM...BACKING UP IS EVILLLL" but we managed a few good steps.
I'm finding training to be frustrating because Lexx is SO eager to get the treats now with his new drugs that he practically chews my fingers right off. I just can't get him that treat fast enough. ever. Its better than him hating food all together, which was the previous case, because at least I have the bonus of the attention now... but my fingers don't agree.
all and all a good little 15 minute session. We worked each exercise several times until I saw consistency, improvement or he did several in a row almost perfect, depending on the exercise.
looking forward to spring. NO formal classes this year, but at least then we can fool around and practice OUTSIDE. phew.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Obedience Drop out
Well
Its been decided.
Lexx and I will no longer be taking obedience classes of any sort... at least not for a good long while.
The current class that we are enrolled in is alright. By alright I mean that I adore the instructor and I enjoy the classes, but that I haven't really seen any improvement in Lexx's performance on several activities.
Now, to be fair, it hasn't been the greatest 8 weeks... his meds adjustment and seizure activity has been sketchy... plus I've been on and off sick and entirely unmotivated to do anything, let alone train.
I have decided that Lexx will be a good friend. And thats probably and most likely it.
I love my dog.. but this decision crushes me, I had really hoped that we would get over all this stuff and still move on to perform in SOMETHING, but... it doesn't look in the least bit promising.
I have realized that I do not have the patience to train a "special needs dog" like lexx, the time or anywhere close to the money to train properly. There is no way in HELL I could afford to train more than once a week, and actually had to dive into some money I had saved to pay for this round of classes.
Maybe if Lexx stopped trying to die...I could spend money on training instead of vet bills, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards, and so be it.
Perhaps when his meds are solid and maybe if his health improves, and I find out what is wrong with his leg, we'll get back into it. But for now... goodbye and farewell obedience.
It just wasn't meant to be...
Its been decided.
Lexx and I will no longer be taking obedience classes of any sort... at least not for a good long while.
The current class that we are enrolled in is alright. By alright I mean that I adore the instructor and I enjoy the classes, but that I haven't really seen any improvement in Lexx's performance on several activities.
Now, to be fair, it hasn't been the greatest 8 weeks... his meds adjustment and seizure activity has been sketchy... plus I've been on and off sick and entirely unmotivated to do anything, let alone train.
I have decided that Lexx will be a good friend. And thats probably and most likely it.
I love my dog.. but this decision crushes me, I had really hoped that we would get over all this stuff and still move on to perform in SOMETHING, but... it doesn't look in the least bit promising.
I have realized that I do not have the patience to train a "special needs dog" like lexx, the time or anywhere close to the money to train properly. There is no way in HELL I could afford to train more than once a week, and actually had to dive into some money I had saved to pay for this round of classes.
Maybe if Lexx stopped trying to die...I could spend money on training instead of vet bills, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards, and so be it.
Perhaps when his meds are solid and maybe if his health improves, and I find out what is wrong with his leg, we'll get back into it. But for now... goodbye and farewell obedience.
It just wasn't meant to be...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I dreamed of ribbons...
I pictured it all in my head, watched shows, read books and scanned the net for any bit of information I could cram into my already academically full head.
I researched and researched and compared and contrasted, colours, lines, origins, ear crops
I begged and convinced and pleaded.. for my perfect dog
The image was all laid out in my head. The perfect dog. The big, strong, red doberman boy with the perfectly pricked ears and alert tail. The perfectly dremmeled nails and muscular chest, coat gleaming in the sun, in perfection.
I decided that I would prove them all wrong with my gloriously handsome boy at my side. I would show them all how wonderful this breed was, how powerful and obedient and strong they were.
I dreamed of ribbons, red, blue and gold hanging on the wall beside his picture.
I dreamed of titles, letters before and after his name.
I never dreamed of tears and heartbreak.
I never dreamed of health problems and impossibilities of training.
I never dreamed of blood work and MRIs and orthopedic surgeons
I never dreamed of broken dreams and the type of pain and fear that makes you want to die.
But I also never dreamed of the type of love I now have the honour of having.
I never dreamed of being "needed" like I am now.
I never dreamed of the amazing, perfect greeting I get every single day
I never dreamed of my best friend in the entire world.
And to think... all I dreamed of was ribbons...
I researched and researched and compared and contrasted, colours, lines, origins, ear crops
I begged and convinced and pleaded.. for my perfect dog
The image was all laid out in my head. The perfect dog. The big, strong, red doberman boy with the perfectly pricked ears and alert tail. The perfectly dremmeled nails and muscular chest, coat gleaming in the sun, in perfection.
I decided that I would prove them all wrong with my gloriously handsome boy at my side. I would show them all how wonderful this breed was, how powerful and obedient and strong they were.
I dreamed of ribbons, red, blue and gold hanging on the wall beside his picture.
I dreamed of titles, letters before and after his name.
I never dreamed of tears and heartbreak.
I never dreamed of health problems and impossibilities of training.
I never dreamed of blood work and MRIs and orthopedic surgeons
I never dreamed of broken dreams and the type of pain and fear that makes you want to die.
But I also never dreamed of the type of love I now have the honour of having.
I never dreamed of being "needed" like I am now.
I never dreamed of the amazing, perfect greeting I get every single day
I never dreamed of my best friend in the entire world.
And to think... all I dreamed of was ribbons...
Monday, February 2, 2009
Cat-dog reversal
This is in response to Maylissa's post on blogging Dante...
I enjoyed her post, and I have finally come to realize the problem in my household... cat-dog reversal.
FOOD, lexx wouldn't eat anything for the longest time.. Everything had to be JUST SO. The meat the PERFECT size, the PERFECT temperature, goodness forbid if it were too frozen, or not broken up perfectly. The cats however will scarf anything anytime from anyone. They of course PREFER it a certain way, but will certainly eat it anyways. I cannot even take turkey, chicken or beef OUT of the fridge before I have a tangle of howling demanding fur balls at my feet. Lexx on the other hand, patiently gives me big brown eyes saying..mom? please? maybe... maybe dobermans could just have the tiniest piece of that? Just a little... maybe? ( at least this was the case prior to his seizure meds... but who can blame the dog who's brain thinks he's starving?)
Sleeping habits:
Lexx, crawls up on the couch or bed and nestles himself into the crook of my knees, or gently next to my head where he gets the most pets. He will stretch out and spoon next to me, daintly suggesting that dobermans DO in fact need pillows. My cats... they will jump up landing on me and settle themselves ( all fluffy 10lbs of them) on TOP of my head, my feet, my stomach until i either drop kick them across the room while sleeping, or move so that they are no longer squishing me. I will give the cats a point here in their ability to remain in one position. They will sleep all night in one ball, Lexx... constant movement, alas why he is NOT a bed dog.
Toys and possessions: Lexx still owns the stuffies he got at 8 weeks old. When one does break or get a hole or start to shed fluff, he carries it to me with a sad "mom... its broken...fix?" look on his face...pure sadness when something is broken. The cats? The cats destroy toys.. mice have no tails, no ears, no eyes. Small stuffy creatures are hanging on for dear life. The cat and the dog both hate beds but neither destroy them...
interesting.
I enjoyed her post, and I have finally come to realize the problem in my household... cat-dog reversal.
FOOD, lexx wouldn't eat anything for the longest time.. Everything had to be JUST SO. The meat the PERFECT size, the PERFECT temperature, goodness forbid if it were too frozen, or not broken up perfectly. The cats however will scarf anything anytime from anyone. They of course PREFER it a certain way, but will certainly eat it anyways. I cannot even take turkey, chicken or beef OUT of the fridge before I have a tangle of howling demanding fur balls at my feet. Lexx on the other hand, patiently gives me big brown eyes saying..mom? please? maybe... maybe dobermans could just have the tiniest piece of that? Just a little... maybe? ( at least this was the case prior to his seizure meds... but who can blame the dog who's brain thinks he's starving?)
Sleeping habits:
Lexx, crawls up on the couch or bed and nestles himself into the crook of my knees, or gently next to my head where he gets the most pets. He will stretch out and spoon next to me, daintly suggesting that dobermans DO in fact need pillows. My cats... they will jump up landing on me and settle themselves ( all fluffy 10lbs of them) on TOP of my head, my feet, my stomach until i either drop kick them across the room while sleeping, or move so that they are no longer squishing me. I will give the cats a point here in their ability to remain in one position. They will sleep all night in one ball, Lexx... constant movement, alas why he is NOT a bed dog.
Toys and possessions: Lexx still owns the stuffies he got at 8 weeks old. When one does break or get a hole or start to shed fluff, he carries it to me with a sad "mom... its broken...fix?" look on his face...pure sadness when something is broken. The cats? The cats destroy toys.. mice have no tails, no ears, no eyes. Small stuffy creatures are hanging on for dear life. The cat and the dog both hate beds but neither destroy them...
interesting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
