Friday was the 4 week mark. Lexx's "4 week seizure weekend time line. Since the KBr has started to lessen its effect, Lexx has been seizing every 4 weeks.
Four weeks ago, we started the Phenobarb. I hated that stupid medicine...It makes him starving, makes him thirsty, makes his legs shake and his nubbin stop wiggling... but..but it might be working?
Over the last two weeks I've seen a change in Lexx. The shine in his eyes is coming back, the bounce in his step is returning. He even did zoomies around the backyard in the snow yesterday. Hopefully this means that the drug side effects are wearing off.
Some days are still hell... when he comes to me wherever I happen to be, and looks up with glazed eyes, nubbin tucked in instead of straight up like normal, hind end ducked down and shaking. He looks up saying Mom... iI feel different. I'm hungry. Mom?... and it breaks my heart every single time.
Every time I think: What am I doing? Who am I to give him these horrible drugs that make him miserable? What kind of mother am I...?
The good days make it worth it. The days where he runs and bounces like a 21 month old doberman should. The days where the ball is more exciting than eating snow because he's thirsty or eating grass because he's starving...
We've made it over 4 weeks, together, through the hell... hopefully things will continue to improve and my amazing little boy will be happier and healthier as spring comes around.
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1 comment:
That is awesome to hear ... i hope Lexx continues to remain seizure free!!
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