dear mommy

Dear mommy

I do not understand why all the humans have suddenly gone crazy. WHY did you bring a tree IN to the house? A tree that i'm clearly not allowed to mark.. even though marking on trees is wonderful. Also, why is there suddenly many new things around t sniff? and why do i get reminded to mind my manners when I try to sneak a small bite out of a garland or knock over a new candle stick? you KNOW that i'm just going my due diligence as a dragon slayer. making sure that things are safe...

Also, why are things being wrapped in pretty shiny paper with "bows". The "bows" look like they would be much more fun to play with and eat than they are sitting still and un noticed on top of those random boxes. They look forgotten and I feel that they should come play with a doberman.

Why are you playing music ALL the time? its quite loud for dober-ears and there are a lot of strange bell sounds in it. Plus, you made me WEAR a bell? how am i supposed to chase kitties wearing a BELL mom! HOW? I don't understand what you mean when you say i look festive... and i don't see how looking "festive" involves having a bath. A waterless bath, but a bath all the same. Did i really smell THAT bad?

Also, mommy, WHY is there so much white stuff on the ground? Why do i have to wear two layers everywhere? Its up to my tummy mom. its wet. and cold. and my paws get full of it. walking just isn't as much fun mom.

mommy... why has the world gone crazy?