the BIG day!

Well!

After a series of mishaps and missing equipment, Lexx's surgery is FINALLY a go for today. I was starting to think that it would never actually happen. We had to wake up extra early to get him into Toronto before the morning traffic, and the Lexxball was NONE too pleased about being woken up so early, having his meds shoved down his throat and the complete lack of puppy breakfast. He gave me his ANGRIEST ears about it all morning until he realized that we were going on a car ride.

Notably, all he does in the car is sleep, but it means that he's coming with us, wherever we are going, and therefore, he loves car rides. Little did he know that he was being left somewhere and not coming home with us again. Oh just saying that makes me start to tear up.

So, after dragging me into the vet's office and DEMANDING to be allowed to be friends with the dalmation cross with a cast on, we filled out the appropriate paperwork, I signed my life away on my credit card and they came to take him to the back. I barely had time for a quick "i love you be good" and a kiss on the head before he was gone. In retrospect, it was probably better that way, because I might have totally lost it otherwise.

Other than the damn tech calling him Lexy.. i HATE it when people do that. LEXX or LEXXINGTON, NOT LEXY HES A BOY DAMMIT. Everyone was really nice and on the ball ( FINALLY)

How do you explain to a dog that its for their greater good? Or that you're only doing something because its the BEST thing for them? Or that you WILL be back and that you are in fact NOT abandoning them forever? See? thats the problem... you can't explain those things. This always leaves me with this horrible fear that he thinks his mommy will never come back.. or that he thinks I'm angry with him about something and left him there..

I know that dogs don't actually THINK that way... but I think that way... and I get upset every.single.time.

I left him with strict instructions that he was ONLY to get the food that I brought with him... ( wet food wellness 95% meat cans and his orijen kibbles) and that NO they were NOT to feed him whatever they normally feed ( yeah right, some pedigree crap or something equally as disgusting..) They must have thought me insane, but I don't really care. He only deserves the BEST and especially after a surgery, I want him eating the BEST food possible. This is one time that i'm really glad that I don't feed raw... they will not allow raw in the ICU due to immuno-compromised animals being present.

Now I get to wait. Its going to be the longest Wednesday of my entire life. I'm sick, and stuck at home.. waiting... and wondering.. all day.

please send all your healing thoughts.